S1: Ep 1 My Soulmate, InsyaAllah...

Friday, December 16, 2022

Assalamualaikum readers. Its been so long since I update my blog. A lot of things happen, but today, one of the happiest day in my life. Never I thought will be in love with someone, a person that I've known since 2019, whom I used to be scared of, well actually until now :D 

Last week, on Dec 7 at 10.24pm, I made a daring decision to confess my feelings to him. I was contemplating at first, however, I don't know what posses me to take the action by sending a long confession paragraph to him. When I did that, I didn't put any hope to be accepted in his life. I was prepared to be rejected by him, cause as far I know, he did not like me, well just based on my judgement. 


*Allow me to continue in mix-language <3


After I sent him the news, I straight away throw my phone under my sofa. I even change my phone to silent mode. Can still recall that moment, exactly, every seconds. Then, I start to make myself busy by cleaning the house, swept the floor, mop, do laundry, anything that can distract me from thinking about the risk I'm taking. 

After few minutes, I cannot stand the curiosity anymore, running to find my phone. Saw his notifications...

        Can we talk about this later?
        I'll talk to you in person
        f2f

"Ni ja yang dia balas???". That's my thought. "Aku dah kena reject la kan macam ni???" 

        Ohhhh Okayzzzz

Tu ja yang aku mampu balas saat tu. Otak freeze, cannot think any other sentences. Well, long story short, lepas dah confess, I acted like nothing happen. I tried. Be an actress. We continue chatting after that night. I started to have mixed feelings dgn cara dia reply my text, but I always remind myself, "Dia nak kawan ja dengan hang. Dia dah reject hang." Avoid myself from develop any hope and hold on it.

Few days after confessing to him, we went for a trip, hiking dekat Bukit Mokcun. I did not tell anyone that my dad will be joining, only Kiyah knew about it. Pagi tu bila dia dgn gang lelaki lain sampai, he was so surprised with my dad present. I even invite my 2 bestfriends, Aida and Azri, to join us for movie that night. I want to introduce him to my close circle, despite assuming he already rejected me that time based on my assumption. 

I decided to stay in Kedah after that trip, ketaq lutut baq hang nak balik Penang. Takut nak jumpa dgn dia, takut nak kena reject face-to-face. Plus, waktu tu memang keadaan tidak mengizinkan as I'm not feeling well. He keep on teasing me because I run away from meeting him. Duhhh of course, waktu tu dalam otak dah pikiaq cara-cara nak move on. 

Let's jump to the climax now. After a week running away, I finally gathered my strength to meet him. I asked him to be the host. Today, Dec 17th, first time in my life went out on a date. Well initially I didn't called it a date because I thought it will be the day that I got rejected by someone. Alhamdulillah it turns out the other way around. 

There are a lot of butterflies in my stomach when he sent me the updated tentative. He did mention 'ice cream date' weyhhhh. Before he update the itinerary, actually on Dec 14 at 12.50am, he called me. I already got my answer that night, although I was in maze, trying to digest what he just said to me, "am I dreaming? Betul ka apa yang aku dengaq nih? Aku tak kena reject ka nih? Dia terima aku sebab kesian ka atau apa?" A lot of questions been playing in my mind. 

Skip to the main scene for this episode, we went on a date. I'm not sure whether to feel nervous or excited, but I can guarantee, I smiled and laughed the whole day. Nahhh, I cried in the end. We went to lunch, well late lunch at Taco's Bell, the we rushed to cinema, after that we pray then went to café to grab dinner. Lastly, we close our course with McD's ice cream as dessert.

Wish to highlight our conversation during lunch and dinner. I cannot believe myself I'm actually having that kind of conversation with someone, one day. We discuss about our future target and planning. Feel so matured weyhhh. He really surprised me. I'm super glad because that moment, I know I made the right decision to confess my love to him. He is indeed a gentleman and a matured man. Alhamdulillah.

The peak is during our ice cream date. He told me about his biggest secret, can also say the other side of him. That part where I cried my heart out. We can never judge people by their appearance. I'm overwhelmed that seconds as he continue to open up with me. Sumpah rasa mixed-feelings bila dia share, taktau nak happy sebab dia trust kita atau nak rasa sedih sbb benda tu jadi kat dia and he go through that hardship alone. Tapi yang pasti aku nangis teruk la malam tu :D

In the nutshell, I can conclude, after 24 years, I finally found my soulmate, InsyaAllah. 

XOXO, 
Jiejie Cute


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